Episode 100: Visiting with Rosalind-Denise Rogers of St. Clair County, IL and her story, “Raising the Frequency”

                                    SSPP ep. 100 ROSALIND-DENISE ROGERS
 
"Raising the Frequency," the story shared by Rosalind-Denise Rogers at the inaugural That's What She Said St. Clair County in 2023 makes for a perfect centerpiece to this 100th episode of The She Said Project Podcast! Hear how Rosalind-Denise overcame adversity and personal struggles finding strength through music and advocacy.
 
ANNOUNCER  00:00  Raising women's voices one story at a time. Welcome to The She Said Project Podcast.
[Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]
 
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JENETTE JURCZYK  00:26  We are here in The She Said Project Podcast, and this is such an important, exciting episode. Kerry Rossow, right by my side. This is Jenette Jurczyk. Kerry, do you know what today is? Do you know what is happening right here, right now?
 
KERRY ROSSOW 00:41  Yeah, I know what it is, and it sounds like this, 100.
 
JENETTE  00:45  We have been doing The She Said Project Podcast for several years, but we've been releasing, you know, seasons of 10 episodes each. This is our 10th season, and this today, with our amazing guest. Today is our 100th episode. So celebrate.
 
KERRY  01:00  Woo-hoo!
 
JENETTE  01:00  This is a huge milestone, a huge accomplishment. So congratulations to you
 
KERRY  01:04  and you.
 
JENETTE  01:05  Thank you. Congratulations to all the women who have stepped up on our stage, to all the women who have joined us on the podcast, to all the women who have felt proud of their story because of something you and your friends did. Gosh, I don't want to, I don't want to age you, but it was like 11 years ago.
 
KERRY 01:21
Watch it, mama. I often think about the impact these women's stories have on other people, and I hear their stories, and then I hear from other people, you know, how it impacted them. And here's the deal - today was a day for me, and I re-listened to this person's story, and it was like, oh, there it is. It's the gift of women telling stories. Her words were like music, and it was so stunning. Her story, her delivery, everything was so beautiful. And it made me so proud to be connected to her in any way. (I might start telling people we're best friends, but whatever.) But it made me very, very proud to hear her story.
 
JENETTE  02:00  Yeah, I feel absolutely the same way. And I'm really excited to have her pop on here in just a moment, because of how special her story is, and she is a She Said Sister that neither of us have spent time with yet.
 
KERRY  02:01  Yet
 
JENETTE  02:01  Because she appeared on stage in St Clair County, which launched in 2023 with our friend Tammy Hamilton Bush. So I got to meet her at the show. I was in the audience, but this is my first time really getting to connect with her and tell her what her story meant to me. So I'm going to bring her on. Kerry, I cannot wait for you to meet this incredible woman. Rosalind-Denise Rogers, welcome to The She Said Project Podcast!
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  02:33Thank you.
 
KERRY  02:34  Hi, sweetheart.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  02:35  Hi.
 
JENETTE  02:36  So lovely to hear your voice. It's been a while since you appeared on the She Said stage. What's been going on in your beautiful life?
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  02:43 I have to start by saying that my name is no longer Rosalind-Denise Rogers. It is now Rosalind-Denise Evans. I was recently married. (Kerry & Jenette: Wooo!)
 
KERRY  02:55 Oh, congratulations!
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  02:57  Thank you so much.
 
JENETTE  02:58  We celebrate you and your joy.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  03:00  Thank you. It has been wonderful, and I had lots of people in on this journey.
 
JENETTE  03:05  Your whole life has been one incredible journey. And here's the deal. On the podcast, we love to share the recording of your story that you shared on stage in a That's What She Said performance. And usually we play that for our friends and our listeners, and then we come back and discuss. But in honor of our 100th episode, there is a special surprise in your story that is not in every show, and so we're going to save that for our grand finale. So we're just going to check in with you. We're just going to chat and catch up.
 
KERRY 03:30  So I want to know, like, how did you get connected? How did you wind up on that stage?
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  03:34  I was contacted by one of the production people about being a part of the crew, and I usually just, most of the time, get up and play as a musician, but I always wanted to speak. I knew that there was a story for me to tell. I've always thought that it would mean more if they understood the passion behind the music. And so when I got the contact and I started joining the group sessions and receiving the mentorship on speaking, initially, I was a little timid, and I tell you that, because I was the youngest one at the table. Oh, everywhere I go, I like the youngest one at the table. And sitting here thinking, like, initially, it's like I have this story, but then you look at in this sense, elders, and it's like they've been through things, it kind of makes you feel in that moment that what you've been through isn't isn't anything, because you're so young, you know? So initially,that was my take on it.
 
JENETTE  04:31  I hope that that thought process was changed during the process of finding your story, because every story is valid. Your story is absolutely valid. Age has nothing to do with it.
 
KERRY  04:42  That's what I keep telling people. I'm on the other end of it, but I'm like, I'm so young at heart.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  04:46  You know, I would have to agree with you and confirm that it did change along the way. And even after telling my story on the stage, to have women of all ages coming up and showing that they were inspired by the story. It really helped, and it really confirmed that I was in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.
 
JENETTE JURCZYK  05:04  Sounds about right.
 
KERRY 05:05  Did you know right away how that was going to play out? Or how did you land on the structure of how you told your story and what you told?
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  05:12  Initially, the first draft of the story, I now laugh at because it was so pretty, you know? It's like just, I want to tell you how I was raised, and I had my parents, and, you know, I had a hard life, but I don't really tell you what a hard life means, and now I'm successful. And here's what it looks like. It didn't really go into detail. Fast forward to the draft that did make it onto the stage: It was an internal conflict, because here it is something that as a video, you know, and as a show, these things that I'm telling are now permanently told, you know, in a sense, and there's this unmasking that happens because you're really letting people see that you are human and how human you are. Many times people can put you on a pedestal because of your gift, or because of your job, or because of the influence and impact you have. I think it's easy to dehumanize a person when you admire them or when they're doing something that positively impacts others, we forget that they're human, and people who are in sectors like mine, or people who do things for other people, service jobs and things like that. We put this tape on that we feel like, you know, we can't take off because of all the people we impact. And I think, during this time, and you'll hear in the story I had taken on so much, and even though all of these good things were happening, such terrible things were happening at the same time. It put in perspective, for me, the duality of life. Really, we have to take both because we're going to be accepting to, you know, life, we have to be willing to take the good side of it and the bad side.
 
JENETTE  06:54  Yes, yes, absolutely. And like we're going to hear in just a minute, you have this part in your story where you talk about the things that were happening in real life and the side of you that was visible to the public, and then the things that were happening in real life and the things that others saw. And I got that when you were talking about your first draft and your second draft, like your first draft was the pretty version. This is what I show people, not what's really happening. And I'm so glad you got to go through this process, to dig deeper, because that's where magic happens, right? When you give yourself permission to be vulnerable, to get a little gritty and to talk about the real stuff. Because that's what we're big fans of, the real story, and not the pretty one that we put on for everybody out there, you know? And there's a time and a place where you have to put on your your facade for protection, or what have you, but you really did get real, and I was so proud of you. I want to talk about your music and the fact that your story was this incredible metaphor, like you used music as this metaphor for your life. And I just want to give our audience some background into your music and your nonprofit.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  07:59  Sure, I am a violinist. I discovered violin staying up late one night. And this is where I tell the kids that TV used to go off, you know, and there wasn't much to watch but infomercials and things like that. And that's when I saw an orchestra. That was my first time. And you know, my parents supported me. My grandparents. To be even more specific, my grandfather.  He bought an instrument for me, and that really started the journey of me loving music. Again, that was an example of being in the right place at the right time. I was raised in Kansas City and then moved to Illinois, where I was able to start teaching. But as a young girl, I didn't have many lessons. I gleaned from other people, and my granny used to have pictures of her piano lessons on the piano, and so I learned by looking at those papers. And can't really explain how I understood it. I didn't do it at this point. But when I moved to Illinois to start teaching the class didn't have any instruments. And it really bothered me, because I was hired as the music teacher, you know, the instrumental music teacher.
 
JENETTE  09:09  You were hired as the music teacher for a school that had no instruments.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  09:13  Yes, ma'am,
 
JENETTE  09:15  wow.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  09:16  Really, I had to make something happen, by the energy that came from that. And, you know, I've always had a heart for philanthropy and my organization that is now present. You know, I was really operating in it since I was a sophomore in college, working at the Boys and Girls Club, buying instruments and using them with the kids after school, fixing them once I learned how to do most, you know, repairs and just really making it work. So I was thrown into this environment, and I think that God knew what was going to happen. He knew what type of spirit needed to be put in that place, because there was nothing. And we started out with recorders when I first got there, but towards the end of that year, I ended up asking my dad's blessing to sell my instrument from school, from high school, and purchasing student instruments with that money. And that is how our program started in East St Louis. I received help from the district thereafter, once they realized, I guess, what was going on and what that, you know, what that looked like. It really impacted the program positively, and it grew well
 
KERRY  10:20  How lucky are they to have you!
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  10:22  Oh, I'm just as lucky to have them, and that's the duality in it as well. You know, without them, there would be no need for me and what I offer. So even though their situations are not ideal, you know, they're in low income communities, and they don't have access to this resource without it, it's like I wouldn't be able to do it if that didn't exist. And so I'm just as lucky.
 
KERRY 10:45  The power of music, man. Everything that you've done. And then I'm in education, in my day job, and any educator will tell you the power of music. You want everybody to clean up, sing a song about it. You want everybody to have a good time and get in line, sing a song about it. And then you add music to someone's life where maybe there isn't so much music, otherwise, what a wonderful gift you've given them.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  11:05  And you know, music blurs the line. Most music is listened to. You know, we don't watch music videos as much as we used to, but we listen to the music. And when you're doing that, none of the things that divide us as people, as a society, like they can't do that through audio. You know, you can't tell the color of the person playing the instrument, or you can't tell how rich or poor they are. You know, there's such a beauty in the ability to express yourself through music.
 
JENETTE  11:31  And music has been a part of our human culture since the dawn of time. There is no life without music. It's part of our story. And you're so right schools that have budget cuts, and the first thing to go is the arts like that is just such a big no, no, big shame, yeah, because I love, love, love what you said about how music connects us and the way you just described it, I was feeling like pure love. Music can convey this message of pure love,
 
KERRY 11:57  And it reflects on how they feel. Sometimes I'll play walk up music for my students, and I'll see a student walking up, and then I bust out some walk up music, and seeing how they stand a little taller, all of a sudden they start busting a move, and then it's just, it changes the whole vibe. It's so powerful.
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  12:13  Totally agree. As a young girl, it is really what saved me. I've struggled with the idea of needing to be the caretaker for everyone for a long time, and nobody really understanding what I needed and what how to take care of me. And music was where I went to. And I used Google. Well, I guess it wasn't Google back then, it was Ask Jeeves.
 
KERRY ROSSOW  12:39  I follow!
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  12:41  I used to Ask Jeeves how to play music, or sheet music and things like that, and that was my escape. You know, no one could keep me from learning the music, and that's a gift that I feel like many students could benefit from. They can always have material things, but the ability to make music is something that doesn't cost money. Cost time to learn. You know, money for instruments. Of course, I get annoyed when money is the reason.
 
KERRY 13:09  I want to hear about the reaction you got from your loved ones. Had they heard your story before you did it? Were they surprised? What was the feedback you got?
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  13:20  My family has become a totally different group of people than I was raised with. So when I think of my family, or I'm thinking of the friends and co workers and those people who put in time and effort to come and see it and listen to it, most of the response is they are just taken aback that this is the same person that they thought they knew. One of my co workers and I bonded because now she knew that someone so close to her had also dealt with mental health, had also went through therapy, had also experienced those mental lows. I think it was both ways, like when she when she let me in on her story, it also encouraged me, because I knew I wasn't alone. You know, someone close to age has also been through some of these similar things, so that made me really grateful and proud to share my story. You know, even now, students come up, they Googled me, and they watched the story with their parents, and they're really inspired by the teacher that they get to have.
 
JENETTE  14:20  Oh, I love that so much. Because, yes, one of the reasons we do this as a live performance is for that immediate impact, but it's a ripple effect, and the impact goes on and on with the, you know, the videos and now your podcast, more women out there will get to hear your story and feel the inspiration that these kids feel and the love that we're feeling right now. There's a vibe in our studio right now. We're so excited. I want to get to your story so our listeners can enjoy this. I'm almost sad because this is the end of our 100th episode. And I mean, thank you for being part of That's What She Said, for being bold and brave and for sharing your heart and your journey and the good, the bad, the ugly, but for bringing your music to the stage and letting us feel your story, and we get to share that with our larger audience right here, right now. So. Rosalind Evans...
 
ROSALIND-DENISE  15:07  Thank you.
 
JENETTE  15:08  Thank you for being part of The She Said, Project Podcast. Real quick, I want to thank Illinois Public Media, Sterling Wealth Management, Carle Health and Health Alliance. It takes a village to put this on, and we've been putting this on for 100 episodes, and it's just been such a joy and an honor. It's been a true honor Kerry, to share these stories and they connect us. It's amazing.
 
KERRY 15:27  Thanks to all the women, and especially thanks to you for making all of this happen. It's beautiful.
 
JENETTE  15:32  Without further ado, I want our audience to enjoy this incredible story by Rosalind-Denise Rogers, now known as Rosalind Evans, and enjoy her performance of Raising the Frequency.
 
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(recorded October 14, 2023 at The Hett, Lebanon, IL)
ROSALIND-DENISE ROGERS  15:47  I stand before you, not as a perfect person, though for years, perfection was the goal, but as a human tapestry woven from the threads of joy, pain, loss, resilience and triumph. My story is one of transformation, of raising my frequency, even when the notes of life seem unbearably discordant.
 
16:07  As a young girl, I would find solace within the rim of music. In an era when television was a luxury with limited airings, I would discover the violin, and it would become my refuge, my voice. The sweet resonating notes were the friends who understood me, the pathway to mentors who would guide me, and the sanctuary that would comfort me amidst life's storms. However, the notes of life weren't always harmonious, and at the age of five, my parents moved us to Kansas City, and from the novice age of five until around 12, I experienced sexual abuse from multiple cousins.
 
16:40  My family's song continued. The dark period in my life was a cacophony that threatened to drown out my own music. I was a melody scored above broken chords. The broken chords unsustained. A melody they tried to diminish -- frequency interference. I was the one who told.
 
16:59  Six months in prison for one of them, and decades of shame and questioning whether or not I had a 'please rape me sign' on my forehead, or maybe my name in the trauma database that read, 'she won't tell.'
 
17:10  For me, within the music I'd escaped, my melody continued, determined to persevere through losing my brother at the age of 14 and discovering that I had a brother at the age of 18, and just realizing that adults be out here, just doing shit y'all.
 
17:28  I would go on to college, determined to write a song different than the one that had been written for me, and getting it wrong. Girl meets guy. Guy makes her feel loved. Girl gives them her all and ends up more broken. Girl gets pregnant. Girl doesn't have a baby, girl suffers quietly to save herself more shame, my melody over broken course continued, and during my junior year, I would lose my grandmother, and six months later, at the start of my senior year, my mother would join her.
 
17:58  Grief was seemingly on repeat, living rent free for years, and during that time, I would become a mother. I remember having my daughter on January 14, and beginning college classes to finish my senior year on January 19, from the hospital bed. The challenges were many. The nights were long and the sacrifices were great, but every struggle a note in the symphony of my life, bringing me one step closer to finding my purpose.
 
18:24  College graduation marked the beginning of a new cadence, and as I walked across the stage for my daughter, I knew my mom and my grandmother were proud. I decided to start a non profit organization, an ambitious dream that led me to relocate to East St Louis with my daughter. My journey has not been easy, though my management team does a wonderful job making it look so.
 
18:47  When I saw home invasion and gunshots, you saw fall festivals and stream concerts, when I fought to get my daughter back after letting her dad take her, you saw Teacher of the Year, when I saw homelessness, self doubt, financial hardship, abandonment and seven months away from my daughters, you saw St Louis visionary. When I see suicidal, idolations, heartbreak, intensive outpatient therapy, daddy issues. You see humanitarian trips to Kansas City, youth outreach. That's What She Said.
 
19:18  See? It has been filled with hardships and heartaches, but it has also been a journey of growth and transformation, because they can both be true. Both can exist at the same time. One has carried me from the shadows of abuse to the spotlight of advocacy, from the depths of despair to the heights of hope. I realized I alone had the power to change my life, (piano music underscore) to raise my frequency. I could choose to let the hardships define me, or I could choose to rise above them.
 
19:49  Through therapy, I am learning to establish boundaries, to value myself and what I bring, to assert my worth. I have realized that I deserve respect, love and kindness. Not just from others, but from myself. I learned that I was not just a survivor, but a warrior, a warrior with the power to transform my pain into strength, to continue teaching, to continue inspiring young minds through the power of music, to continue being a mother.
 
20:19  I found the courage to continue my non profit organization, to use my story, my music, to uplift those around me facing their own trials. I stand before you today as a testament to the power of resilience, a living proof that no matter how dark the night, the dawn will always break. I am a woman who has faced the darkest storms yet, I am a woman who has learned to dance in the rain.
 
20:45  My journey has taught me that our lives are not determined by the trials we face, but how we rise above them, that we have the power to transform our lives, to raise our frequency, to create a symphony of resilience, of strength, of hope.
 
21:00  So let us raise our frequencies. Let us turn our trials into triumphs, our hardships into hope. Let us create a symphony of resilience, a symphony of strength, a symphony of hope. See, we are not victims to our life songs. We are the conductors of our lives.
 
21:18  So remember, no matter how hard the trials, no matter how fierce the storms, you have the power to transform your life. You have the power to compose your symphony. You have the power to raise your frequency.
 
(applause)  
(violin solo with instrumental accompaniment playout)
 
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JENETTE  23:25  It's time to celebrate one hundred!
 
KERRY  23:28  One hundred!
 
JENETTE  23:28  We did it, 100 episodes, and here's to 100 more. Thank you everyone for supporting The She Said Project Podcast.
 
KERRY  23:36  Over and out.
 
JENETTE  23:42  Wooo!
 
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[Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]
ANNOUNCER  23:55 Thank you for listening to The She Said Project Podcast in partnership with Illinois Public Media. All materials contained in the podcast for the exclusive property of The She Said Project and That’s What She Said, LLC. For more information on our live shows go to [url=https://shesaidproject.com]https://shesaidproject.com[/url]
 
This podcast was made possible with support from Carle and Health Alliance and presented by Sterling Wealth Management, empowering women to live their best lives.